A young man, let's call him G was in a dilemma and asked for advise in that he felt he was losing his girlfriend and really wanted to keep her. "she's nice people", he said, " but she and I might be breaking up." When asked the reason why, he painted the following scenario:
He met his girl some months ago and she, "rocked his world". They had good times, they look great together, they get along very well, the sex is wonderful and they have plans to marry. He asked her to meet his family and everyone was expecting her, however, on the same weekend she preferred spending time with her buddies from the army (she is in the military). She had re-enlisted along with others she knew. For re-enlisting they each received checks for $10,000 dollars. They planned to meet in Colorado and party together.
She promised him she would return by weekend. After getting to Colorado, she began to entertain the idea of breaking up with him. She had had sexual encounters with one of the girls that was now in Colorado with her and although she loved him, she also had feelings for the other woman. He stated, "I don't want to lose her" and he was sending her a text message to let her know his family will be disappointed if she doesn't show for the weekend. She responded she just wasn't sure about their relationship.
He was so upset with her but he added, "I'm not upset that she is seeing another woman because I do not feel threatened by another woman. Maybe I would be a little upset if it were a man but not a woman." He did not feel betrayed because she told him the truth. He asks what must I do in this situation? __
Friend, should I go or should I stay is the correct question here. Let's look at it through some other questions. If you married her, is it okay for your wife to be sexually involved with another woman? Are you content to be in a relationship where your partner is shared sexually? Would your family be concerned about you in such a relationship? Do you know that she wants you and only you? You are not intimidated by the idea of another woman with your girl so does that mean you accept the possibility of never having an exclusive relationship with the woman you love? Could she be happy loving only you? Can she overcome her desire to have other women? And if not, where does that leave you? Will the woman she is seeing be the beginning of others to come? Is she in love but not with you?
He needs a hint to answer one of the questions here. The answers to all the questions he has already seen within himself. So here is his hint: If you were okay with the idea of your girl seeing another woman then tell us why are you asking what you must do?
Restore Love,
J
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