Communication Part I

Every relationship is interrupted with dissonance from time to time, no matter how sound the foundation. The common sense point here is simple, no two individuals can agree on everything. Gauging the intensity of discord always depends on what’s at stake. The idea of losing something or someone threatens a person’s survival instincts. It is the same for boy, girl, woman and man. Communication is central when an otherwise harmonious relationship strikes discord.

A child grounded loses the ability to contact and be with friends.
A man or woman involved in a relationship of intimacy discovers their "love" has cheated loses connection with that person (even if they patch it up, it remains tattered around the edges with issues of trust). Both scenarios negatively break down communication.

When there is a disagreement in a close relationship -such as the ones described above- levels of defense are high. Meaning here is there is much anxiety on both parts. The communication usually begins with “the explanation.” The child explains the reasons why their course of action led to this; they may also try to justify the action. The one grounding them justifies the punishment. A cheating partner explains why they cheated as the other explains what was damaged by the cheating. From “the explanations” the temperature rises. When this happens effective communication begins a spiral much like an autumn leaf from a tree top- interrupted by branches but the tumble to the ground is inevitable.

How can we effectively communicate at such a critical point in time?
We will answer that question in the next blog, “Communication Part II.” We'll stop here today.

Thanks for reading.