A woman cried today because she says her "man" left her and it hurts so badly. Her description was, I feel like I'm dying. He don't want to talk to me, he don't want to smile at me, he don't want to see me around, he didn't even kiss me goodbye. Indeed he's gone.
She then said something that so many people say after a breakup. I just don't understand how he could do this. She said, "how could he just up and leave me without any consideration for my feelings." "How could he say he love me on yesterday and today walk out on me as if I were a total stranger. She started searching herself aloud. "I did'nt do anything to make him want to leave. We were doing so well. We spent time together, we laughed and joked around together."
As she sat there relating all the wonderful parts of the relationship that should have held it together the tears rolled down her face. Her body seemed frail from a night of grief and tears.
She wanted so much to be with him but he was no where to be found. He had walked out of her life as if changing his clothes. She just could not understand.
After going over the wonderful parts of the relationship, she again sifted her mind for answers to the riddle; how could he do this?? The answer to this riddle cannot be summed in a few words.
Think of this woman and ask yourself - how can a man or a woman willingly walk away from a relationship where there is love between the two? How is that possible?
Now think of the people you love. To be away from them for an extended period of time causes
sadness, loneliness, a longing to be there with them. So what happened here?
What happened here is affection without commitment. In an earlier blog on this page it was stated that sometimes the way a person treats another is often mistaken for love and rather than saying I love you , what should be said is "the way you treat me feels good" or better yet "I like the way you treat me." All good feelings cannot be labeled love but that is what happens many times. A good feeling is mistaken for love.
Love, as stated in these pages, requires committment. "Come what may" is the attitude required. Love creates balance in our lives when the reciprocity of love is felt. When any two people, regardless of the relationship type, commit to loving one another, they are preparing mind, heart/ soul, to weather whatever storms occur in the relationship. If one does not want to commit to the work needed in developing the relationship then the togetherness cannot be considered love. It is just two people having a good time and when the infactuation for the other person wears thin then the question is asked as tears flow like rain, "how could he/she do this to me??"
1 comment:
How sad this tale is to read! Over and over this happens, always the questions with no answers! Unfortunatly Their is an answer but over the years we have lost it, no more correct we refuse to accept it! Yes there is a fundamental truth in the authors views, they do not get to the root of it!
I have my doubts that few who read this will want to deal with my words because I feel they might find them unplesant! We as a society have been trained to believe that we are special! Our media tells us everyday that we NEED something new to be happy! Well, this my friends is probably the single most important factor which will bring our country to it knees if anything does! In order to comprehend my meaning one must first understand that all things are related! For example Going on a diet, or trying to quit smoking are symptoms of a character flaw. I know this sounds strong but bear with me! If you are unhappy and you attempt one of these tasks how hard is it? Would it not be better to self evaluate correct the problems which caused these symptoms then work on these? I say these things because I once read that most people who went on a sucessful diet quite often put the weigh back on because they discovered that after they had lost the weight they were still the same person! Now to my point! You cannot single out one thing and pretend that it will have some effect! If every industry from clothing to fast food tells you, no bombards you with the idea that YOU MUST have something new or you are not happy how can you possibly pick an item a mate and think that all this media has had no effect!? No the guy did not think about anything, he probably did love the woman! But who is teaching him how to survive in this world of consume, consume consume! OH YES then "THROW AWAY"
Well I hate to be a wet blanket here but I have trained myself to be realistic about life! I hate to mention it but there are winners and loosers! There are those who get the diseases, there mate dies, nature destroys everything! People these things happen! HERE is the key! This is not to make you sad! This is to beg each of you who might read this to gain strength and start living! Happiness has no materials! Happiness cannot be purchased, or posesed, it is a feeling deep inside the soul!
If you start right now look around at the beauty and mystery of the universe, realize how unimportant you are and FEEL the simple wonder of being alive and breathing the air then you are building your foundation of happiness! You teach yourself that your attitude is your choice and you decide to find beauty and happiness around you. You will begin to smile alot! Then you meet someone! DO NOT TRADE your rock of happiness for another human being! Look deep in their eyes and realize that time is fleeting! Let the knowledge drift from your mind to your heart that every moment may be your last! Trust me there will be an air of mystery, happiness, peace, which will attract that soul mate we all seek! Then your actions will be clear and clean! Then when that time comes and that mate is gone, wether it be death, divorce, whatever. You will walk in the park and you will reflect on those wonderful times! yes you will mourn but it will be clean! Your grief will not be shrouded with doubts and questions!!! WHY? Because you did your best! No you did not work at it! You livedit you breathed it! When you clung to each other in the dark there was an urgency that compelled you seek the msot of the moment! and..... well there are no words for this part....
I hate to include this closing but if you attempt these things I speak of you will I am afraid find as I have that no one is interested! It is too hard! There are thousands of voices telling you to buy! I stand alone but you know what? I am happy! I miss the other half. we all do because the Great Spirit made us that way! I have a secret though and you might want to try it? I was in love a long time ago and we went our seperate ways... I was destroyed just like many but I would not let it rest I wanted understanding, I needed relief! So after a very long time I realized that we feel love the most when those we love are not around, and love the least when they are always around! I realized that the grief i was feeling was mostly just my wish to posess! So I gave myself a mental enima and picked good memories and let myself love her without possesing her! I know what you are thinking! LOL I DON'T WANT THAT I WANT MY MATE! Welcome to America...
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