A woman cried today because she says her "man" left her and it hurts so badly. Her description was, I feel like I'm dying. He don't want to talk to me, he don't want to smile at me, he don't want to see me around, he didn't even kiss me goodbye. Indeed he's gone.
She then said something that so many people say after a breakup. I just don't understand how he could do this. She said, "how could he just up and leave me without any consideration for my feelings." "How could he say he love me on yesterday and today walk out on me as if I were a total stranger. She started searching herself aloud. "I did'nt do anything to make him want to leave. We were doing so well. We spent time together, we laughed and joked around together."
As she sat there relating all the wonderful parts of the relationship that should have held it together the tears rolled down her face. Her body seemed frail from a night of grief and tears.
She wanted so much to be with him but he was no where to be found. He had walked out of her life as if changing his clothes. She just could not understand.
After going over the wonderful parts of the relationship, she again sifted her mind for answers to the riddle; how could he do this?? The answer to this riddle cannot be summed in a few words.
Think of this woman and ask yourself - how can a man or a woman willingly walk away from a relationship where there is love between the two? How is that possible?
Now think of the people you love. To be away from them for an extended period of time causes
sadness, loneliness, a longing to be there with them. So what happened here?
What happened here is affection without commitment. In an earlier blog on this page it was stated that sometimes the way a person treats another is often mistaken for love and rather than saying I love you , what should be said is "the way you treat me feels good" or better yet "I like the way you treat me." All good feelings cannot be labeled love but that is what happens many times. A good feeling is mistaken for love.
Love, as stated in these pages, requires committment. "Come what may" is the attitude required. Love creates balance in our lives when the reciprocity of love is felt. When any two people, regardless of the relationship type, commit to loving one another, they are preparing mind, heart/ soul, to weather whatever storms occur in the relationship. If one does not want to commit to the work needed in developing the relationship then the togetherness cannot be considered love. It is just two people having a good time and when the infactuation for the other person wears thin then the question is asked as tears flow like rain, "how could he/she do this to me??"
