Our relationships are vital and precious. There is the adage, that no man is an island. With levels of truth to this statement, we should handle our relationships with great care; treasure them.
In the turmoil of todays' relationships, we actually see brothers against brothers, husbands against wives, fathers and mothers against sons and daughters, friends against one another. It does not have to be this way; no, not if you take steps to love one another.
Love must be learned -just as any other concept- as part of our cognitive decvelopment. We must practice the concepts of what it means to love, and to be loved. The evolution of our relationships depend on learning the concepts of loving and being loved. We cannot place our relationshps on automatic drive and expect value of them. We must be pro-active in developing that value. Is it not said that what we put in is what we gain from our efforts? Moreover, Jesus, the most profound man of history pointed out, "...the measure you use, will be measured to you..." (NIV Luke 6:38 and Mark 4:24).
At times, in any given relationship you are involved in, you will find that you move in opposite directions from the other person/s in the relationship. If no one makes the attempt to bridge these disconnects; you drift even further apart in the other direction.
To establish a bridge and reconnect can be as simple as a good night kiss to the forehead of your son or daughter, a touch to the cheek of your significant other as they leave the house, a phone call to a friend to say, "I miss you", a card, a letter, and if you're new or rather rusty at all this, send a text message to say "Hi". Any small effort will do; in this case, a little goes a long way. Start today to avoid becoming an island.
Monday, October 4, 2010
Monday, January 4, 2010
Dance, He Gives His Heart Freely
Dance, He Gives His Heart Freely
by MJCrusin
When he gives his heart so freely
from the balcony so high
Tired of the aloneness
Correlation with one whose
nigh
to
validate him
complete him
stamp his manhood
The ultimate test of his abilities to
do
have
keep
hold
know
respect
appreciate
enjoy
laugh
love
Tailored uniquely, just for him
and this is only when he gives his heart so freely.
he recognizes her
among the throng of masqueraders
dancing below him
before him
glistening
a sparkle
his eyes dazed
mind dazzled
heart stops
grinning
smiling, alpha attention.
Beyond Cupid
he recognizes desire
to catch the illumination
dancing before him
above the throngs of
masqueraders
and this only when he gives his heart
so freely.
No matter what he must do
equip to answer the call
of one crying out to him
she cries
honesty
happiness
joy
you
we
respect
protect
speak
comprehend
compassion
love
None between us
no matter the cause
I call you now
hear me
hold me
love me
tailored uniquely, just for
you
design exclusive
where are you?
breathless she calls.
Listening, frozen
he watches
she dances
without a masque
among the throng of masqueraders
radiant,
before him
dancing
wind whispers echoes of her cries
his ears capture only her
sound
among the throng of masqueraders
his heart
so long without one near
his mouth he speaks
Babylove, my dear
I kept my watch
knowing you were here
dancing among the throng of masqueraders
the distance
a life’s journey
mere seconds
to place your hand in mine.
But, this is only when a man gives his
heart so freely.
Dance, dance, dance, dance
cry for you are heard
whisper your desire
upon his ears
release your
heart on whispering winds
that kisses his ears
that you are here
that you are near
nigh
beneath his window
beyond the balcony
among the throng of masqueraders
dance ,dance, dance
for to you
he will give
his heart to
so freely.
Dance.
by MJCrusin
When he gives his heart so freely
from the balcony so high
Tired of the aloneness
Correlation with one whose
nigh
to
validate him
complete him
stamp his manhood
The ultimate test of his abilities to
do
have
keep
hold
know
respect
appreciate
enjoy
laugh
love
Tailored uniquely, just for him
and this is only when he gives his heart so freely.
he recognizes her
among the throng of masqueraders
dancing below him
before him
glistening
a sparkle
his eyes dazed
mind dazzled
heart stops
grinning
smiling, alpha attention.
Beyond Cupid
he recognizes desire
to catch the illumination
dancing before him
above the throngs of
masqueraders
and this only when he gives his heart
so freely.
No matter what he must do
equip to answer the call
of one crying out to him
she cries
honesty
happiness
joy
you
we
respect
protect
speak
comprehend
compassion
love
None between us
no matter the cause
I call you now
hear me
hold me
love me
tailored uniquely, just for
you
design exclusive
where are you?
breathless she calls.
Listening, frozen
he watches
she dances
without a masque
among the throng of masqueraders
radiant,
before him
dancing
wind whispers echoes of her cries
his ears capture only her
sound
among the throng of masqueraders
his heart
so long without one near
his mouth he speaks
Babylove, my dear
I kept my watch
knowing you were here
dancing among the throng of masqueraders
the distance
a life’s journey
mere seconds
to place your hand in mine.
But, this is only when a man gives his
heart so freely.
Dance, dance, dance, dance
cry for you are heard
whisper your desire
upon his ears
release your
heart on whispering winds
that kisses his ears
that you are here
that you are near
nigh
beneath his window
beyond the balcony
among the throng of masqueraders
dance ,dance, dance
for to you
he will give
his heart to
so freely.
Dance.
Friday, December 11, 2009
Move Toward / Embrace
Have you taken note of today's great visual artists? A new era in art has risen and a few of today's artists have surpassed the Masters. Check out the works of ( Seventh International Sand Sculpture Festival). Those sculpted works at the festival can act as reminders that we shape our world into whatever we want it to be. Not only our physical world ,as the artist does in the sand; but aspects of our other worlds, especially, the paradigm we call love. Sculpting our way to joy.
What is meant here is this: Examine the value of your life and your relationship/s with open eyes; assess this value carefully for it leads to joy and what many term happiness. Who can say, I am where I want to be? I am where I want to be in terms of my relationships and all other aspects of my life. In the assessment, are you comfortable? Are you content? Are you secure in the fact that someone loves you back? What last did you do to reinforce this comfort? When last did you wink at an issue instead of exploding? Why are your dreams only dreams? Why are all your relationships empty? Create a stage where the two of you can be audience to each other. Can you see?
Some still chase seminar gurus who encourage taking risks. Risk taking is more suitable to desperate people who have a concept that it is noble to -and the spoils taste better if they -take a risk. Think about it.
Risk; a gamble , a chance, a danger, probability, hazard, lay on the line, put on the line, expose to loss or damage.
In other words the possibility of a win based on hope for a favorable outcome. There is no need to take risks when changing your conditions; the order is there and you will carry out/accomplish what is in your heart to do. If you have a significant other, develop and create with that person. State the goals for your relationship. Why do you want a relationship in the first place? Create that. Establish a system to keep each other actively involved. Discuss and correct aversive behavior if discovered.
You will find - in changing conditions, you create the life and love you want.
On the other hand, if your heart is not in agreement with your aim, you get quantity versus
quality and sometimes ,depending on the risks, you get nothing and end up stuck
in the sands of life hoping for a re-creation. Control your condition and change your life.
What is meant here is this: Examine the value of your life and your relationship/s with open eyes; assess this value carefully for it leads to joy and what many term happiness. Who can say, I am where I want to be? I am where I want to be in terms of my relationships and all other aspects of my life. In the assessment, are you comfortable? Are you content? Are you secure in the fact that someone loves you back? What last did you do to reinforce this comfort? When last did you wink at an issue instead of exploding? Why are your dreams only dreams? Why are all your relationships empty? Create a stage where the two of you can be audience to each other. Can you see?
Some still chase seminar gurus who encourage taking risks. Risk taking is more suitable to desperate people who have a concept that it is noble to -and the spoils taste better if they -take a risk. Think about it.
Risk; a gamble , a chance, a danger, probability, hazard, lay on the line, put on the line, expose to loss or damage.
In other words the possibility of a win based on hope for a favorable outcome. There is no need to take risks when changing your conditions; the order is there and you will carry out/accomplish what is in your heart to do. If you have a significant other, develop and create with that person. State the goals for your relationship. Why do you want a relationship in the first place? Create that. Establish a system to keep each other actively involved. Discuss and correct aversive behavior if discovered.
You will find - in changing conditions, you create the life and love you want.
On the other hand, if your heart is not in agreement with your aim, you get quantity versus
quality and sometimes ,depending on the risks, you get nothing and end up stuck
in the sands of life hoping for a re-creation. Control your condition and change your life.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Express What You Feel
Its not always that humans say what they intend to say to each other.
Some write their mental scripts of what they will say to the other person
when the opportunity presents itself. They find when they are face to face
with the person, all they wanted to say becomes a phantasm.
How can this be? Especially with family and friends, those we say we love
and cherish, those who consider our relationship with them of much value.
How can this be? You care, but you cannot express yourself openly and
honestly? What a shame, and still, how can this be?
Expressing what one feels should be the simplest exercise, however, the
inability to express what one is feeling is a most difficult task- reason
being- failure to express feelings is the result of being far removed internally
from the character one presents to the world. Some characterizes it
as living a lie. This is the source of all drama in relationships:
trying to maintain an external persona that is not a copy
of one's internal image. Fear is the culprit behind such false external images.
Some say its just a game humans play. This subect of fear is
for futher discussion another day.
So how does one handle self expression?
Poets and song writers have an uncanny way of observing and scribing
human emotions. Often, they express what others cannot say or refuse to say.
The following example is from a song.
Courtesy of Rocky/ Quantum Band / Atlanta, Ga./1994
"You know that I love you,
that I love you, but distance is in
between us, I can't forget your
face and your picture is my
saviour, I'm coming to get you.
----------------------
Ask, what do I want/need to discuss with someone else?
Must I seek clarity by having others elaborate what they are saying to me?
What are some difficulties that we must deal with? Verbalize them.
Do we need to look at the matter from different perspectives?
What ever one must do to express emotions and thoughts, then do!
Think for a moment the last time you had something to say and
could not, would not say it. What stopped you? Your emotions surfaced but then
they were suppressed; why? You be the difference in your relationships
by being open, honest and truthful to self and others. Share with others the
character inside, not the "broken" one you resolved to be externally.
This act eliminates false characters. It also fills you with courage, allowing
you to embrace your emotions.If you need a guide to aid in expressing
what you feel, then, listen to some music or read poetry, get yourself back on track
and express yourself; you'll be glad you did.
Some write their mental scripts of what they will say to the other person
when the opportunity presents itself. They find when they are face to face
with the person, all they wanted to say becomes a phantasm.
How can this be? Especially with family and friends, those we say we love
and cherish, those who consider our relationship with them of much value.
How can this be? You care, but you cannot express yourself openly and
honestly? What a shame, and still, how can this be?
Expressing what one feels should be the simplest exercise, however, the
inability to express what one is feeling is a most difficult task- reason
being- failure to express feelings is the result of being far removed internally
from the character one presents to the world. Some characterizes it
as living a lie. This is the source of all drama in relationships:
trying to maintain an external persona that is not a copy
of one's internal image. Fear is the culprit behind such false external images.
Some say its just a game humans play. This subect of fear is
for futher discussion another day.
So how does one handle self expression?
Poets and song writers have an uncanny way of observing and scribing
human emotions. Often, they express what others cannot say or refuse to say.
The following example is from a song.
Courtesy of Rocky/ Quantum Band / Atlanta, Ga./1994
"You know that I love you,
that I love you, but distance is in
between us, I can't forget your
face and your picture is my
saviour, I'm coming to get you.
----------------------
Ask, what do I want/need to discuss with someone else?
Must I seek clarity by having others elaborate what they are saying to me?
What are some difficulties that we must deal with? Verbalize them.
Do we need to look at the matter from different perspectives?
What ever one must do to express emotions and thoughts, then do!
Think for a moment the last time you had something to say and
could not, would not say it. What stopped you? Your emotions surfaced but then
they were suppressed; why? You be the difference in your relationships
by being open, honest and truthful to self and others. Share with others the
character inside, not the "broken" one you resolved to be externally.
This act eliminates false characters. It also fills you with courage, allowing
you to embrace your emotions.If you need a guide to aid in expressing
what you feel, then, listen to some music or read poetry, get yourself back on track
and express yourself; you'll be glad you did.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Revamp
Well hello there!! Yes its been a long, long time since the last post. There are times when one has to get away, reposition one's perspective and reorganize one's life. This brings up today's topic; revamping oneself as a form of self improvement. As you have read in this blog and as you will always read in this blog: in order to transform into the best or better person that you seek to be you must change ideas, change routines, change how and what you think then change your behavior and you would have started the evolution into an more enriched life.
One should not maintain routines that produces little or nothing in their life (especially when you realize that you want more). Change it! Do not be afraid to release and let go of the old to make space for the new. Many of us accumulate bags of emotional bricks that we try to move as we walk on our life's path. Life is happening now and will not wait for those who cannot see that their life needs a change now.
One may ask what does this have to do with relationships M.J.? Everything! Throughout our lifetime we will have a great many associations, some up close and personal, some not so close; but in all of them we want our best to show. Our lives are filled with nothing but events which when they are over becomes a part of our history and since some of us cannot see what our future possesses, it is fair then to say, only this moment matters.
Take time, examine yourself. Restore, refresh, revamp, reorganize, redevelop, then rejoice because you are reshaping the outcome of your life. From the moment you do this, you are setting in motion new pages for your future that will leave a history that was filled with love, life, joy, and proactive actions by you. Not only does it benefit you, it also benefits those connected to you in that every little action stirs a reaction.
Let's Restore Love.
One should not maintain routines that produces little or nothing in their life (especially when you realize that you want more). Change it! Do not be afraid to release and let go of the old to make space for the new. Many of us accumulate bags of emotional bricks that we try to move as we walk on our life's path. Life is happening now and will not wait for those who cannot see that their life needs a change now.
One may ask what does this have to do with relationships M.J.? Everything! Throughout our lifetime we will have a great many associations, some up close and personal, some not so close; but in all of them we want our best to show. Our lives are filled with nothing but events which when they are over becomes a part of our history and since some of us cannot see what our future possesses, it is fair then to say, only this moment matters.
Take time, examine yourself. Restore, refresh, revamp, reorganize, redevelop, then rejoice because you are reshaping the outcome of your life. From the moment you do this, you are setting in motion new pages for your future that will leave a history that was filled with love, life, joy, and proactive actions by you. Not only does it benefit you, it also benefits those connected to you in that every little action stirs a reaction.
Let's Restore Love.
Saturday, May 23, 2009
So What's Going On?
Even though one may not see the necessity of couples activities, shared adult activities are essential to every relationship. These are the fulfilling and fun things you do together to maintain the spark, the freshness, the life of your relationship.
Being involved in a relationship, in the ultimate sense, means you're operating together as a team of two. The value and worth of your togetherness rests in how well you move with and complement each other; it can also include how well you plan develop and achieve as a team.
Sometimes you get started in activities and your "sweetie" drops the ball either because it is not fulfilling to them or they may not see the need for such activities. In exploration to add activities, aim for those things that each person finds interesting, essential and fulfilling. As you plan, both must make the commitment to do. Focus on the expected pleasure or emotions associated with the activity and begin reaping the joys knowing that you have much to look forward to. One of the reasons spouses and significant others seek outside relationships is their current ones are boring, stale and unfulfilled. Be the reason your "love" enjoys being a part of the team.
It is thought in many heterosexual relationships that the female commandeers the activities. That may be the expectation because the female role is keeper of emotional aspects of the relationship according to social scientists:
"In virtually every culture , it is part of the female role to
be responsible for maintaining the emotional aspects of the relationships..."
Boyd, D & Bee, H (2006) Adult Development. Boston: Allyn and Bacon
That may be the expectation , but remember, expectations are unspoken rules that can be discarded and together you can create new rules; your relationship, your rules.
Whatever you do, make it fun, exciting, even exotic (hey!). Walk together, bike together, travel together, be and do together. And do not forget to have your reflective moment alone every now and again.
Being involved in a relationship, in the ultimate sense, means you're operating together as a team of two. The value and worth of your togetherness rests in how well you move with and complement each other; it can also include how well you plan develop and achieve as a team.
Sometimes you get started in activities and your "sweetie" drops the ball either because it is not fulfilling to them or they may not see the need for such activities. In exploration to add activities, aim for those things that each person finds interesting, essential and fulfilling. As you plan, both must make the commitment to do. Focus on the expected pleasure or emotions associated with the activity and begin reaping the joys knowing that you have much to look forward to. One of the reasons spouses and significant others seek outside relationships is their current ones are boring, stale and unfulfilled. Be the reason your "love" enjoys being a part of the team.
It is thought in many heterosexual relationships that the female commandeers the activities. That may be the expectation because the female role is keeper of emotional aspects of the relationship according to social scientists:
"In virtually every culture , it is part of the female role to
be responsible for maintaining the emotional aspects of the relationships..."
Boyd, D & Bee, H (2006) Adult Development. Boston: Allyn and Bacon
That may be the expectation , but remember, expectations are unspoken rules that can be discarded and together you can create new rules; your relationship, your rules.
Whatever you do, make it fun, exciting, even exotic (hey!). Walk together, bike together, travel together, be and do together. And do not forget to have your reflective moment alone every now and again.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Making "Us" Happen
In any effort of creativity you will find checkpoints throughout the development. Think of your relationship as a book that the two of you are writing. Just how are you developing the chapters? Create then recreate until both of you have exactly what you want and need, of/for/in, your relationship. This is what you must do to bring and keep the "US" in the relationship.
There are times when your special someone may chose to sit on the sidelines watching as you define and redefine the relationship without any proactive participation on their part but as Marvin Gaye and Kim Weston once sung, "it takes two to make a dream come through..." There is no we in me nor is there togetherness in I.
As the two of you create the events that compile the chapters of your book, remember you are indeed the creators. The pages of the next chapter are yours to design how ever you want it to be. You can write it together or permit "obstacles" to block and keep you stuck in the same chapter as yesterday.
Making "US" happen requires vision, imagination ( lots of it) along with, as always, trust and communication. Your chapters can be short or long , filled with adventure or subtle passion and beauty- you decide this together. Do not behave as the push me, pull you creature from the Dr, Dolittle movie, instead, dream together, plan together, relax and enjoy together.
Search for "US" in the relationship, examine your togetherness and if you should find there is no "US" then it may mean no continuity. No more chapters can be written here.
The End.
There are times when your special someone may chose to sit on the sidelines watching as you define and redefine the relationship without any proactive participation on their part but as Marvin Gaye and Kim Weston once sung, "it takes two to make a dream come through..." There is no we in me nor is there togetherness in I.
As the two of you create the events that compile the chapters of your book, remember you are indeed the creators. The pages of the next chapter are yours to design how ever you want it to be. You can write it together or permit "obstacles" to block and keep you stuck in the same chapter as yesterday.
Making "US" happen requires vision, imagination ( lots of it) along with, as always, trust and communication. Your chapters can be short or long , filled with adventure or subtle passion and beauty- you decide this together. Do not behave as the push me, pull you creature from the Dr, Dolittle movie, instead, dream together, plan together, relax and enjoy together.
Search for "US" in the relationship, examine your togetherness and if you should find there is no "US" then it may mean no continuity. No more chapters can be written here.
The End.
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