As people mature many of the things they used to do are no longer satisfying. They then set upon a path to redevelop their whole being hoping to evolve to a different category of life. They grow tired, become dissatisfied and the spiral course begins again. Self development requires your entire life, it requires a whole you and each new day is your opportunity to grow in an ever satisfying truth at your command. Love is that truth.
Love is a discipline. As you develop it; you learn to master it. You may ask how does one practice such a discipline? It is essential that it is not practiced like a rule imposed on oneself but rather as an expression of one's own will. It is essential that it be felt as pleasant with conscious, small acts daily that create immediate changes in your being. A practice each morning to start your day would be to look at yourself in the mirror, smile and say, "good morning! welcome to another day", bearing in mind that another day equals myriads of opportunities. Don't wait for some external force to cause you to feel love. You be the well from which love springs.
Love is recognized by its fruit and there is only one proof of love; the change you witness within as you begin to present love as a way of life. No, no, no, no, no, not the false media presentations that portrays love as just a feeling...to love yourself and to love another is not just a strong feeling-it is a decision, a declaration, a commitment. Feelings come in and go out, so to say that love is just a feeling would be wrong. When we love, judgment is involved; you may feel it but love is not just "a feeling. "
Practice loving, start with you and your household and watch its development. You can take these views into consideration but only you can develop and grow love within yourself . Love is exclusively an act of will , responsibility and commitment, therefore, fundamentally it must begin with you.
Let's Restore Love
'
Friday, December 12, 2008
Sunday, December 7, 2008
When Its Time To Commit
Listening to some songs on the radio can cause a person to think that everyone is in love desiring only to be with the object of their love. Still other songs cause one to think how crass being in love must be. One moment there is a male singer pouring out words to express the need for intimate love, e.g. , "late at night it's hard to rest, I hold your picture to my chest and I feel fine..." Then in the next few minutes you hear a female who expresses, "... never thought I'd be alone, all by myself, but what is love anyway but a silly game we play..." Let's stop a minute to examine our commitment or lack of.
To be in love with another intimately means you have taken the time to really get to know the person. You are not being misled by what you see in the beginning. When a relationship is new, people tend to be on their best behavior and falling in love at the beginning stages is risky. Risky in that you do not have enough information about the person to make a sound decision to commit to that person. Know what you seek before beginning to waste time in a new relationship. Many in search of love tend to have the butterfly behavior of floating from person to person, spending time with someone you never would commit to waiting for the next person (the right person) to come along.
In perpetual love it is not wise to spend a lot of time with someone you already know you cannot commit to. You risk developing an emotional bond with that person which may make it difficult for you to end the relationship amicably, it also dishonors you and the person when the end comes and you go away, little communication of why, no goodbyes, or surprise announcements of its over. This abrupt act to just go away is the chief cause of hatred and even violence in many broken relationships. Why? Humans' natural interpretation of this act would be a message that says, your value to me is expendable and I can never commit to you.
The songwriters -writing for your listening pleasure- are personally expressing the love or lack of love witnessed or experienced. In this group you will find those who choose to write of the disappointments, the frustrations, confusion , irritations and anger associated with the dishonor of an abrupt end in a relationship and the message it sends.
If you are open, honest and visible about who and how you are, some people will like you and some will not. But the feelings toward you and acceptance of you by those who do like you will be solid and real leaving a greater chance for commitment in your relationship than not. Start to build your intimate relationships from here and avoid the rest. You need to see the person clearly, the good and the bad to determine if you can commit to this person. Of course, more importantly, know of whom you are seeking in the first place to avoid putting time in a relationship that you would rather not be involved in. Give songwriters some great material to write about.
"... ain't no love like my baby's love, its like burning fire shut up in my bones..."
Let's Restore Love
To be in love with another intimately means you have taken the time to really get to know the person. You are not being misled by what you see in the beginning. When a relationship is new, people tend to be on their best behavior and falling in love at the beginning stages is risky. Risky in that you do not have enough information about the person to make a sound decision to commit to that person. Know what you seek before beginning to waste time in a new relationship. Many in search of love tend to have the butterfly behavior of floating from person to person, spending time with someone you never would commit to waiting for the next person (the right person) to come along.
In perpetual love it is not wise to spend a lot of time with someone you already know you cannot commit to. You risk developing an emotional bond with that person which may make it difficult for you to end the relationship amicably, it also dishonors you and the person when the end comes and you go away, little communication of why, no goodbyes, or surprise announcements of its over. This abrupt act to just go away is the chief cause of hatred and even violence in many broken relationships. Why? Humans' natural interpretation of this act would be a message that says, your value to me is expendable and I can never commit to you.
The songwriters -writing for your listening pleasure- are personally expressing the love or lack of love witnessed or experienced. In this group you will find those who choose to write of the disappointments, the frustrations, confusion , irritations and anger associated with the dishonor of an abrupt end in a relationship and the message it sends.
If you are open, honest and visible about who and how you are, some people will like you and some will not. But the feelings toward you and acceptance of you by those who do like you will be solid and real leaving a greater chance for commitment in your relationship than not. Start to build your intimate relationships from here and avoid the rest. You need to see the person clearly, the good and the bad to determine if you can commit to this person. Of course, more importantly, know of whom you are seeking in the first place to avoid putting time in a relationship that you would rather not be involved in. Give songwriters some great material to write about.
"... ain't no love like my baby's love, its like burning fire shut up in my bones..."
Let's Restore Love
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Every Thing A Season
Throughout our lives we meet others and share wonderful experiences with them then the experience comes to an end and the encounter becomes a pleasant illumination of the mind as we reminisce. Its like that pleasant cologne that captured your attention in passing. No need to look back at the one that's wearing it, just appreciate the fragrance while its near.
Examining nature we see that things change. The seasons change, the weather changes, sprouts grow to trees, and seeds to fruit; relationships also change. Call it evolution if you must.
In relationships no one wants to let go when they feel secure. At the same time no one wants to stay with feelings of uncertainty. Being in a relationship does not clone your feelings for one another ,therefore, the door is open for misinterpretations and misunderstandings. When relationships change from feel good to upsets and tears, someone changed the pattern, someone lost interest , there was no commitment, someone is no longer satisfied with the course the relationship is moving. The steady wave lengths of communication now change their frequency and much static is heard.
If you begin to experience changes in your relationship that disrupts what you regard as "the norm," it simply means the relationship is moving to another level and it may not include you , while at the same time, it may not be a bad move. Think of it as growing or an opportunity to nurture and grow. Focus your attention on improving and increasing, then gather the goodness of what you enjoy/ed in the relationship to savage it if it can be salvaged or release it and joyfully walk away knowing that your season in this relationship is over and its time to grow somewhere else.
Let's Restore Love
MJ
Examining nature we see that things change. The seasons change, the weather changes, sprouts grow to trees, and seeds to fruit; relationships also change. Call it evolution if you must.
In relationships no one wants to let go when they feel secure. At the same time no one wants to stay with feelings of uncertainty. Being in a relationship does not clone your feelings for one another ,therefore, the door is open for misinterpretations and misunderstandings. When relationships change from feel good to upsets and tears, someone changed the pattern, someone lost interest , there was no commitment, someone is no longer satisfied with the course the relationship is moving. The steady wave lengths of communication now change their frequency and much static is heard.
If you begin to experience changes in your relationship that disrupts what you regard as "the norm," it simply means the relationship is moving to another level and it may not include you , while at the same time, it may not be a bad move. Think of it as growing or an opportunity to nurture and grow. Focus your attention on improving and increasing, then gather the goodness of what you enjoy/ed in the relationship to savage it if it can be salvaged or release it and joyfully walk away knowing that your season in this relationship is over and its time to grow somewhere else.
Let's Restore Love
MJ
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Trust
Why do you fret about your relationships? Why are you not comfortable with the fact that you are loved and that you are quite capable of loving? Somewhere there is someone that loves you. In the universal scheme of things, we have the capacity and ability to love just as we have the ability to satisfy our need for energy when hungry. Food and love are essential to living. One is just as important to life as the other. Just as food has to be farmed, harvested and prepared to be enjoyed, love has a similar process to enjoyment. First step in that process is trust.
Do not expect to reap the full benefits of love without the key nutrient which is trust. In perpetual love, trust is unquestionable. You cannot snoop through the children's dresser drawers, under their mattress or search your partners pockets, wallets, purses, email accounts when you trust. To do this states you trust as long as there is proof of their innocence.
Examine the various relationships where you are loved and where you love others (be it intimate or otherwise), do you trust? Can you trust? Are there reservations to trusting? Can you be trusted? Start today to be completely honest with those you love. Honesty is the yellow brick road to trusting. Trust that once you are completely honest in all your interactions with those you love, you enter a new dimension of loving where joy is supreme.
A word to those who continue to play emotional /mental games with themselves and others. Stop it! Learn to Love .
Let's Restore Love
MJ
Saturday, October 25, 2008
We Are Family
A group of women were having a discussion two days ago -and as women have a tendency to do when gathered together- the subject of family was initiated. One woman stated,"I hate my family." Another, almost without pause added, "I live with my Aunt and she makes me sick."
Comments such as these give credence to the idea that lineage is not an obligation or a responsibility. Of course such an idea is unfounded given that we live in one world which connects us as a human family. So what causes one to be sickened by or hate their family.
Consider that when born, we were not consulted about our placement with a particular family. Although in some super sensible teachings, it is thought that we make the choice before birth of the people that will act as our parents,guides, etc. Since this is not a super sensible teaching let's proceed with: we were not consulted and the families we are part of is who we end up with. To hate or be sickened by one's family points to one of three conditions:
1. Unable to express oneself as an individual within the family.
2. Disagreement with certain actions of the family.
3. Family's disagreement of one's actions.
Emotions can run high in families mainly by feelings of disappointment and disrespect. The root causes of disappointments can extend far back into the past. Upsets that are never addressed and resolved lay a pattern for disappointment. Sometimes, an individualist way of being (as an adult) is to do what they think others want them to do (false approval / acceptance). They deny themselves the human right to be who they really are.
When the family shows disappointment in one of its members, the member shows disappointment in self; especially when they hold the family in high regards. At the flip of this coin, when an individual shows disappointment of the family it is because of a track record of demonstrated inability or exhibited lack of interest to the individual expectations. Believe it or not.
Emotional ills in the family can be corrected but it begins with you. It begins with your love for yourself. By defining (in total honesty) who you are at this point in time then accepting yourself as a responsible adult competent enough to recognize your needs. Follow this by forgiving and forgetting what you perceived as disappointments. Restore the love with family members be they near or far away by extending your heart to say I love you. In perpetual love you cannot demand that others change who they are, but you can be a model for them to initiate change within themselves. This works both with your immediate family and your one world family.
Let's Restore Love
Comments such as these give credence to the idea that lineage is not an obligation or a responsibility. Of course such an idea is unfounded given that we live in one world which connects us as a human family. So what causes one to be sickened by or hate their family.
Consider that when born, we were not consulted about our placement with a particular family. Although in some super sensible teachings, it is thought that we make the choice before birth of the people that will act as our parents,guides, etc. Since this is not a super sensible teaching let's proceed with: we were not consulted and the families we are part of is who we end up with. To hate or be sickened by one's family points to one of three conditions:
1. Unable to express oneself as an individual within the family.
2. Disagreement with certain actions of the family.
3. Family's disagreement of one's actions.
Emotions can run high in families mainly by feelings of disappointment and disrespect. The root causes of disappointments can extend far back into the past. Upsets that are never addressed and resolved lay a pattern for disappointment. Sometimes, an individualist way of being (as an adult) is to do what they think others want them to do (false approval / acceptance). They deny themselves the human right to be who they really are.
When the family shows disappointment in one of its members, the member shows disappointment in self; especially when they hold the family in high regards. At the flip of this coin, when an individual shows disappointment of the family it is because of a track record of demonstrated inability or exhibited lack of interest to the individual expectations. Believe it or not.
Emotional ills in the family can be corrected but it begins with you. It begins with your love for yourself. By defining (in total honesty) who you are at this point in time then accepting yourself as a responsible adult competent enough to recognize your needs. Follow this by forgiving and forgetting what you perceived as disappointments. Restore the love with family members be they near or far away by extending your heart to say I love you. In perpetual love you cannot demand that others change who they are, but you can be a model for them to initiate change within themselves. This works both with your immediate family and your one world family.
Let's Restore Love
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Stay Connected
In any relationship there are bound to be disconnects in communication. A disconnect occurs when mutual communication reaches a critical level through misunderstanding, ignoring or even disrespecting the other person's dialogue. Many seem to recognize when communication breaks down and few recognizes when it disconnects. You may be saying to yourself, "how can she make such a general statement?" Simple, take a look around you at the discord you see in various relationships. Regardless of the relationship category- be it personal/business/family- there will be disconnects every once in a while.
Keep in thought that when you are involved in a relationship, much work is required. There is no such thing as living happily ever after without the preparation and development to get there; and no matter the distance, every journey begins with one step. Allow yourself the freedom to be fully involved in all your relationships by being honest with yourself. Know what you need/want and even wish to have within your relationship. By knowing this then you are prepared to partner with another (regardless of the relationship category).
You cannot get there dragging a bucket full of lies around with you nor should you want to assist in carting similar buckets for another. Through dialogue you are able to exchange meaning.
Do not attempt to manipulate the dialogue, it causes others to mentally criticize you which makes it more difficult to engage in an honest free flowing dialogue; too it can cause the other to passively shut down which could lead them to decisions against their own will.
In love one should always look for and cultivate mutual purpose and mutual respect. When we love our hearts are made anew and happily ever after is around the corner in our life's travels.
Let's Restore Love
Keep in thought that when you are involved in a relationship, much work is required. There is no such thing as living happily ever after without the preparation and development to get there; and no matter the distance, every journey begins with one step. Allow yourself the freedom to be fully involved in all your relationships by being honest with yourself. Know what you need/want and even wish to have within your relationship. By knowing this then you are prepared to partner with another (regardless of the relationship category).
You cannot get there dragging a bucket full of lies around with you nor should you want to assist in carting similar buckets for another. Through dialogue you are able to exchange meaning.
Do not attempt to manipulate the dialogue, it causes others to mentally criticize you which makes it more difficult to engage in an honest free flowing dialogue; too it can cause the other to passively shut down which could lead them to decisions against their own will.
In love one should always look for and cultivate mutual purpose and mutual respect. When we love our hearts are made anew and happily ever after is around the corner in our life's travels.
Let's Restore Love
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Change
Recently in Nashville, TN- in the latter part of summer- day time temperatures reached no less than 80 degrees. A man was seen walking the streets wearing a winter coat. As he passed by others, all eyes seemed directed to him. Many of us believe that temperatures control how we dress, but for reasons of his own this character chose to go against such a belief. Perpetual love too goes against the norm.
More then not you have heard many people make the statement, "...we have been through so much together..." when talking about their intimate relationships. Perhaps you have heard parents say in reference to their rebellious child, "..."I'm so sick of going over the same nonsense..." Maybe once in every blue moon have you heard a person say: "I'm going to change myself, (my life)by changing my point of view."
Quite honestly, the only requirement to changing how we love is to change our point of view. To love perpetually is a decision that you make to love yourself and others without attaching conditions, i.e., you are not governed by nor do you govern others by emotional or physical manipulation.
When you experience perpetual love it communicates to others honesty of heart, clarity of mind,
definition of intent. It is free of emotional games that humans play so well with one another.
When we switch our views to loving in this manner, it becomes the operant conducting our daily lives. As an operant it opens the door to events that shape our lives for the better because it illuminates the true love we have to share.
Do not delude yourself in thinking to change one's point of view is an easy concept. The simplicity of it causes it to sound very easy to accomplish, but in love the more we comprehend, the more there is to comprehend. Casting away much of how, what, who, why we believe as we do is the difficult portion. Just REMEMBER, no matter how much there is to do, it can be accomplished if we start and stay with it.
We can resolve many ills in learning how to love in this manner. Changing who we are and how we love is much like the man walking in the summer with the winter coat: Observers cannot explain it but they see it.
Let's Restore Love.
More then not you have heard many people make the statement, "...we have been through so much together..." when talking about their intimate relationships. Perhaps you have heard parents say in reference to their rebellious child, "..."I'm so sick of going over the same nonsense..." Maybe once in every blue moon have you heard a person say: "I'm going to change myself, (my life)by changing my point of view."
Quite honestly, the only requirement to changing how we love is to change our point of view. To love perpetually is a decision that you make to love yourself and others without attaching conditions, i.e., you are not governed by nor do you govern others by emotional or physical manipulation.
When you experience perpetual love it communicates to others honesty of heart, clarity of mind,
definition of intent. It is free of emotional games that humans play so well with one another.
When we switch our views to loving in this manner, it becomes the operant conducting our daily lives. As an operant it opens the door to events that shape our lives for the better because it illuminates the true love we have to share.
Do not delude yourself in thinking to change one's point of view is an easy concept. The simplicity of it causes it to sound very easy to accomplish, but in love the more we comprehend, the more there is to comprehend. Casting away much of how, what, who, why we believe as we do is the difficult portion. Just REMEMBER, no matter how much there is to do, it can be accomplished if we start and stay with it.
We can resolve many ills in learning how to love in this manner. Changing who we are and how we love is much like the man walking in the summer with the winter coat: Observers cannot explain it but they see it.
Let's Restore Love.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)